How Pregnancy Changed My Mindset [Athlete Story]

Guest Blog Post by Lexi Miller of Lifelong Endurance.

Lexi is running coach & community manager and new mom. She specializes in the long distances: trail running, ultra running, fastest known times and marathons, as well as mental performance and adventure racing. In addition to coaching runners, Lexi is an ultra runner, herself, who also enjoys adventure racing, skimo racing and nordic skiing, to name a few.

I had a great opportunity to chat with Lexi for her podcast, Defining Endurance. We talked training, running, pregnancy and new motherhood. Thanks Lexi, for sharing your story!

The Comparison Game

The last run of my pregnancy took place at 38 weeks and 1 day, my son being born four days later. My average pace was a twelve minute mile, which propelled me four miles miles to the farmers market, where I gorged on peaches before shuffling home-my geriatric dog in tow.  Nine months previous, I would have been disgusted with this run, embarrassed by the time. I was someone who took themselves too seriously, fixated on time and mileage, and was constantly focused on the next goal.

As the old adage goes, “comparison is the thief of joy,” which is all too real in the world of endurance sports. While I cheered on peers and friends on social media platforms, I also found myself comparing myself above or below them, not truly engaging in their success. After completing one of the biggest accomplishments in my athletic career, I found out I was pregnant. I found myself grieving before I celebrated-while this was something we wanted, I was terrified it was the end of my adventure and running success. 

Motivation…where’d you go?

I set a goal for myself to try to be active every day, to the best of my ability. At first, as the first trimester morning sickness took hold, I was not sure I would make it. My energy was low, I could barely hold down food, and my body felt like it was on-loan. True to form, I compared myself to friends who had been pregnant, to peers who made it all seem effortless, to my former self, who months ago was trotting long distances without a care. My desire to stay active and set goals was almost zero, what did it matter, I would never compete again.

The Mental Switch

The mental switch came in the second trimester. With the cloud of depression the hormones brought lifting, I was able to mindfully focus on the reality of the situation: I was growing a f-ing human. Another living being was developing skin, eyes, ears, and organs inside of me. It was by far, one of the coolest things my body had ever done. Who cared that I was running slower and not feeling as strong. Suddenly, every workout became more enjoyable, as I reminded myself of the amazing task at hand. As my baby’s ears developed, I would spend my weekend trail runs and hikes chatting away to him, narrating our run, telling him of our future adventures. When I sense myself getting frustrated with my lack of ability, I would gently pat my belly and remind myself of how strong the female body is. 

This feeling was only expedited in the third trimester. Sure, I could find plenty of examples of pregnant women who were accomplishing more than me, but it didn’t matter-they were on their own journey, and I, for once, was truly happy for them. My round belly made me feel strong and confident in a way I had never before experienced. This feeling of strength and pride lent itself well to my birth experience, as I was able to have an unmedicated delivery (which is also largely due to no complications and a very determined midwife.) 

Navigating the Return to Run

As I left the fog of the fourth trimester, and started to resume training, I found that I was okay with my slower pace and shorter mileage. I was able to set realistic goals (I have always been one to overreach) and did not beat myself up when things did not go according to plan. I found myself comparing myself far less than before pregnancy, and still sharing in other people’s accomplishments and joy. Pregnancy showed me that I do not have to prove myself to others, or even myself. I am a strong, capable human who can hike peaks with a baby in their belly or on their chest. Women are truly amazing.

Thanks Lexi!

Find more information about Lexi here:

• Instagram @coach_lexi_lifelongendurance

• Lifelong Endurance Coaching

• The Defining Endurance Podcast